Things the world does not need

Up to now, my laptop computer, well in advanced years, lead a decent life serving its master - me. Little did it know that its life was incomplete. But one day, there was it the ultimate gadget: The USB Christmas tree. And there was no software required!









The christmas tree changes color in the Google colors and was good for a good laugh!

Google Adwords chat assistance or taking a Turing Test

Today, I felt like trying out the Adwords Program from Google. So I opened an account and starting playing with an Ad and the keywords. After a while I had some questions I could not figure out from their help. Namely, why could not I find one keyword for EUR 0.01 CPC?

When I wanted to write them an email I realized that the offer a real time chat with a specialist. (Apparently, only for certain contries.) - Okay, let us try that!

Soon I found my self performing a Turing Test. Was that a automatic bot I was talking with? Or was it a real person with tons of hot keys for canned responses? (After all they have to operate cost effective.)

Below you find the conversation. What do you think? Is that a human being on the other end?

Thank you for contacting Google AdWords. Please hold a moment while we route your chat to a specialist who will help you with your question: "Why is the Keyword Symposium Ulm cheaper than Universität Ulm Symposium Physik? Does not the first keyword match more queries? Should not there be more competion? Why does the Keywords start from EUR 0.05 instead from EUR 0.01 even when there is NO Ads showing up for this keyword?". Chat Information Delaun has received your message and will be right with you.
Delaun: Hello Daniel. Thanks for contacting Google AdWords. I'm happy to help you.
Delaun: Would you mind waiting a moment while I pull up your account?
Daniel Schmitt: Ok
Daniel Schmitt: So what do you say?
Delaun: Thank you for your patience. I'll be with you shortly. Delaun: Each keyword has a minimum bid that is based on the quality (also called Quality Score) of your keyword specific to your account. If your keyword or Ad Group's maximum cost-per-click (CPC) meets the minimum bid, your keyword will be active and trigger ads. If it doesn't, your keyword will be inactive for search and not trigger ads for searches on Google or the search network.
Delaun: You can move an inactive keyword to an active state and show ads by (1) improving its Quality Score through optimization, or (2) increasing its maximum CPC to the minimum bid recommended by the system.
Daniel Schmitt: How does Google determine the Quality Score?
Daniel Schmitt: And why is it account specific?
Delaun: The Quality Score is determined by your keyword's CTR, relevance of ad text, historical keyword performance, and other relevancy factors.
Daniel Schmitt: So for me as a new advertiser it will be low? Delaun: We will base the minimum bid for keywords based on historical system data initially, in addition to other relevancy factors.
Daniel Schmitt: What about the fact that the keyword
Daniel Schmitt: Symposium Ulm
Daniel Schmitt: is cheaper than
Daniel Schmitt: Ulm Symposium Physik
Daniel Schmitt: ?
Delaun: As I mentioned, the minimum bid per keyword may vary based on historical system data and relevancy factors. The minimum bid may be higher if the system does not predict that the term will do well for you.
Daniel Schmitt: So I get punished twice???
Delaun: The minimum bids may fluctuate based on ad performance.
Delaun: Our system will periodically re-evaluate your keywords and ad text.
Daniel Schmitt: Can you give me something more than those canned responses?
Daniel Schmitt: I can read those online ...
Delaun: I'll be happy to explain in more detail Daniel.
Delaun: Our system evaluates your keywords and ad text based on relevancy and historical performance in order to determine the minimum bid per keyword.
Delaun: As your ad begins to run, our system will gain more data based on your specific ad text and keywor relevancy.
Delaun: Excuse me, *keyword*
Was that a real spelling mistake or a canned one ;-)
Delaun: In turn, you may see fluctuations in the minimum bid required to activate some keywords.
Daniel Schmitt: So for me as a new advertiser it is impossible to get CPC rates of the 0.01 Google promises on their homepage?
Delaun: If the keyword has a high Quality Score, then it is possible to obtain a lower CPC.
Daniel Schmitt: I interpret that as a YES.
Daniel Schmitt: To me that is at the border line of "false advertisement".
Delaun: It is possible to obtain a lower minimum bid. I am happy to send you some tips on optimizing your account Daniel.
Delaun: To increase your ad rank without increasing your spending, be sure to optimize your keywords and ad text so that they are as relevant and targeted as possible. To learn more, please visit http://adwords.google.com/select/tips.html.
Daniel Schmitt: Yes, it is possible but obviously not if you are new to the program.
Daniel Schmitt: Or can you give me an example where I can actually pay 0.01 per click?
Delaun: I suggest utilizing the 'Traffic Estimator' tool within your account.
Delaun: The Traffic Estimator estimates the average number of clicks per day, the average cost-per-click (CPC), and the average position of your ad for each of your keywords. These numbers depend on the keywords you select, the maximum CPC you set for your ads, and the country and language that you target for your ad campaign. This tool also predicts whether a keyword's status will be active or inactive for search and the minimum bid required to trigger ads.
Daniel Schmitt: I have done that and ply with it a little more.
Daniel Schmitt: Thank you very much! You are doing a great job in a less than perfect world. Have a good day! Bye
Delaun: Thank you Daniel.
Delaun: Is there anything else that I can help you with?
Daniel Schmitt: No, thanks.

Well, it seems like they dont give out any specific information about their Quality Score. That makes it hard to trust the system. But Google always had this mysterious glow and up to now they did pretty well for themselves.

If you actually managed to get a CPC of EUR 0.01 as a new advertiser I would like to hear how you have accomplished that. So leave me a comment!